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I BELONG TO MYSELF

solo girl

I’ve a small story to tell which might be a bit disturbing in multiple levels. I love travelling and I always wanted to travel on my own to far distant countries. I would love to go to Greece, Paris or Dubai all by myself- just me, my satchel, my bags and my magazines. Sip a glass of champagne and read my favourite magazine. Yes, travelling alone can be a bit daunting but I’ve done this before and it’s really nice. I remember two months back my mother was visiting me and I was telling her all about my solo travels in UK and she was quite surprised. She asked me how I did it and if I was scared. My answers surprised her and she was happy that I had a good time travelling alone. I have been married for little over 3 years but solo travels are really nice sometimes. It gives you time to think about your life, failed relationships and above all gives you alone time. Just few days ago I wanted to get myself a visa to travel to Dubai. Man, travelling to Dubai would be nice, is what I thought. 6 days getting away from the city, shopping and having tea and macaron at Paul sounded brilliant. So, I got my visa papers sorted and I was quite kicked to submit my documents when one of the visa officers asked me for the NOC letter from my father or husband and I wasn’t sure why he wanted it in the first place. I tried telling him that I am 27, I am independent and I have a job and for Christ sake I don’t need a bloody NOC to travel anywhere. 45 minutes later, this conversation wasn’t going anywhere and his last statement pissed me off. He said that the UAE govt would want to know who I belonged to. I couldn’t believe his words and decided to just leave.

I was quite upset and I wanted to punch the visa officer really hard but actually it wasn’t his fault, may be. He was just doing his job. Unfortunately we are living in an age where women can’t travel alone, if they choose to travel alone then the society starts doing trash talk. If we buy an expensive bag or perfume, the society will ask you if your rich father or rich husband paid for it. If we decide to watch a movie all by ourselves then people will ask you if everything is fine and if you are still married. Seriously, being a women is tough. We’re so screwed. Trust me the society will suck the life force out of you. I am a bit tired of the so called rules of the society. I have faced a lot music from the society on travelling alone, on buying expensive bags and shoes and on going to watch a play just by myself.

So dear Mr Society/Mrs Society, I would want to know what’s your problem. Why does it bother you so much if I travel alone or decide to buy an expensive bag for myself. I mean how jobless are you? Do you pay any of my bills? Please stop passing judgement. I don’t need anyone’s permission to travel or to buy a bag. So please mind your own business. I will do whatever I want to. I don’t need anyone’s approval. And yes, don’t tell me that I am a girl and I need to be careful. Please teach your sons to be human beings and not rape girls. Don’t tell your daughters to be careful, ask your son to treat girls with respect. Don’t tell them that boys don’t cry, teach them better. Boys don’t make others cry. I think the problem with the society is bad parenting. Parents always seem to have an excuse to pamper boys but when it comes to their daughters they follow archaic rules. I hope every mother stops discriminating and stops being partial to their sons. I hope the next time a son misbehaves with the daughter, the parents have the courage to slap the son and tell him to shut up and not tell their daughter to forgive the son. We need to change rules. We need to start being human beings first.

I hope I can travel to Dubai someday without a NOC from my father or my husband because I am not a piece of furniture and I don’t belong to anyone. I BELONG TO MYSELF.

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Relationships……..

Yesterday, I was trying to make a list of relationships that I have been in so . Such a task is never a happy one for most but for me it was a pretty easy one. Well, I moved to a boarding school when I was 16 . Things weren’t easy for me. I always dreamt of being in a relationship with a nice guy who would understand me, laugh with me, do crazy things and just don’t bother about the world. Well, you see it’s not really easy to get such a guy especially when you are studying in a girls’ school! So being in that one relationship was a herculean task for me. Of course I would get to meet a lot of guys who would want to take me out for coffee and such relationships were short lived. I think I have attention span of a 3 year old, I can easily forget people ! I am easy that way. So here I am , turning 27 and making a list of all the relationships that I have been in so far:

i) The weird one – I think when you are 16, you wear your heart on your sleeve. I met this guy and thought he was adorable. Fell in love with him in a jiffy and fell out of it in exactly 5 months. Ha ha ha. Now that I think about it, I find it soo silly. I mean what was I even thinking? He was horrible, would treat me like a trash bag and never respected meĀ  and my friends never approved of him. Thank God for drilling some sense in me and I decided to show him the middle finger and moved on.

ii) The Charming One- I met this guy one day, I thought he was ridiculous. I hated him. He would call me every night and we would speak for 2-3 hours. My friend was madly in love with him but he had absolutely no interest in her. I thought he was just a friend but I realised after few months that he loves me and I was honestly not in love with him. He is a very good friend and I know that he would take a bullet for me but I never thought that he was the one. He was a buddy.

While I was on this crazy journey, trying to find ‘THE ONE’ who is perfect for me I discovered a thing or two about myself.. I am the happiestĀ  when I am with myself. I enjoyed being in my room, not talking to anyone and just watching television. I enjoyed the loneliness. I enjoyed going for a movie all by myself. I enjoyed going to a spa and for coffee all by myself. Relationships have a big impact on you. There are some which put you in a spot, there are some that are old and familiar, some which answer all your questions, some which make you get a partner visa and move to a different continent altogether but the most exciting relationship of all is the relationship I have with myself.And in this solitary journey I found the one who loved my madness and loved me just the way I am and that’s just fabulous.

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